1 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,660 Thank you. 2 00:03:14,540 --> 00:03:15,540 I liked that. 3 00:03:15,740 --> 00:03:17,420 I really liked that. 4 00:03:18,340 --> 00:03:19,340 Of course. 5 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,040 You're improving. 6 00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:23,940 Nice of you to say so. 7 00:03:24,180 --> 00:03:25,340 Oh, yes, you are. 8 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:28,320 I know. 9 00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:30,620 Let's try something else while we're still in the mood. 10 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:35,700 Right. Why don't we try and get rid of all those nasty inhibitions we have? 11 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:36,839 If you like. 12 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,560 Tell me what you want to do most. 13 00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:40,340 Come again? 14 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,060 You can do anything you like. 15 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:43,600 I can. 16 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,480 Hold me. Touch me. 17 00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:47,160 I want to be touched. 18 00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:49,418 You do? 19 00:03:49,420 --> 00:03:50,198 I do. 20 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:51,480 I'll just draw the curtains. 21 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,080 Yes. 22 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,040 Oh, 23 00:03:55,340 --> 00:03:58,460 let me hear those sighs of ecstasy. 24 00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,520 Darling, turn me over. 25 00:04:01,860 --> 00:04:06,360 I've got lots more to show you on my other side. Because this is the end of 26 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,360 cassette sex lesson number one. 27 00:04:11,260 --> 00:04:12,840 The clear romance is dead. 28 00:04:13,230 --> 00:04:17,910 I'm not feeling myself tonight, baby, feeling myself tonight. 29 00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:25,150 I'm not feeling myself tonight when you turn on your love and cheese. 30 00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:40,110 But if it's love that you're needing, don't treat. 31 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:02,840 I'm not feeling myself tonight 32 00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:40,670 Change. What's a lovely young girl like you doing in a dreadful sex institute 33 00:05:40,670 --> 00:05:41,670 like this? 34 00:05:43,750 --> 00:05:47,930 Oh, nice weekend, Mr Sparrow. Pigeon. Oh, you've been shooting, have you? It 35 00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,530 wonderful, as you can see. 36 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,450 Oh, thanks very much for asking, Fred. 37 00:05:52,230 --> 00:05:53,230 Oh, any time. 38 00:05:53,650 --> 00:05:55,010 Oh, where were we? Oh, yes. 39 00:05:55,450 --> 00:05:56,450 Wonderful. 40 00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:57,750 Wonderful, wonderful. 41 00:05:58,410 --> 00:06:02,790 Miss Boddy, Miss Boddy, come back, please. I was only... I am a doctor. I 42 00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:03,790 you, I am a doctor. 43 00:06:14,060 --> 00:06:15,440 Well, it's not just your money. 44 00:06:16,940 --> 00:06:20,320 I'm a virgin. I've been saving myself for you. 45 00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:24,020 Oh, hello again, Mr. Starling. Pigeon. Oh, of course, you've been shooting. 46 00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:24,939 Let go. 47 00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:26,180 Sibyl, I've something for you. 48 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:31,220 Hello, darling. Come back here, Pigeon. Do it yourself. 49 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:38,740 To all concerned, Marita's has commenced in room 504. 50 00:06:39,140 --> 00:06:41,020 Please do not interrupt us. 51 00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:47,930 As you can see, ladies and gentlemen, there are erogenous zones and erogenous 52 00:06:47,930 --> 00:06:51,810 zones. But mere stimulation does not... Sorry. 53 00:06:54,590 --> 00:06:55,590 Where were we? 54 00:06:56,810 --> 00:06:57,810 Ah, yes. 55 00:07:07,310 --> 00:07:08,350 It's not fair, Cheryl. 56 00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:11,170 Everyone's getting it except me. And I'm the only one who's in love. 57 00:07:12,090 --> 00:07:13,960 Here. Look at me when I'm kissing you. 58 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:17,740 Morning, John. 59 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:19,520 So what's the matter with your nose? 60 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,800 Uh, why, uh, why all the new gear? 61 00:07:23,260 --> 00:07:24,900 It'll soon be as trendy as I am. 62 00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:27,200 This is how I should be dressing in the future. 63 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:28,560 Oh, yes. 64 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:29,800 You know what? 65 00:07:30,140 --> 00:07:34,040 You need one little accessory to complete the look of a trendy sweep 66 00:07:34,260 --> 00:07:35,079 And what's that? 67 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,380 Your bucket over your head. 68 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:41,740 So happens that Miss Cheryl Bascom informed me last week. 69 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,840 But there's nothing she liked better than a trendy dresser. My mum's got a 70 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:49,440 dresser. Now, get your feet off there. And how many times have I told you not 71 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,000 put coffee cups on top of Agnes? She's a very sensitive instrument. 72 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,120 Yeah, and you're just a bloody sweeper -upper. 73 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,780 One of these days, you're going to get court -nicking all this electronic gear 74 00:07:57,780 --> 00:07:58,759 for your experiments. 75 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,740 And how would you suggest I occupy my time? 76 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,220 You need an hobby like me. 77 00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:04,160 The last thing I need is you as my hobby. 78 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:07,260 What are you taking up this week? Picking the wings off flies, I suppose. 79 00:08:07,540 --> 00:08:08,940 Ah, that was last week. 80 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:11,440 This week? 81 00:08:11,580 --> 00:08:15,840 I'm really into ringing people's doorbells, counting tin, and then 82 00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:18,060 Fantastic. Yes, great. 83 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:19,640 Really weird. 84 00:08:20,180 --> 00:08:21,180 Trust me on. 85 00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:26,300 I'm getting very worried about you, Keith. 86 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,900 I know too, John. 87 00:08:33,059 --> 00:08:34,059 Bye, Keith. 88 00:08:36,020 --> 00:08:37,020 See you, John. 89 00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:25,230 to the ejaculation room, please. 90 00:09:25,770 --> 00:09:28,230 Dr. Smith to the ejaculation room. 91 00:09:29,450 --> 00:09:30,550 There's a dance tonight, Cheryl. 92 00:09:30,790 --> 00:09:31,790 I'd like to come. 93 00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:33,750 Oh, these. 94 00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:35,970 Oh, I just picked them up on the Portobello Road. 95 00:09:36,550 --> 00:09:37,610 Somebody thrown them away. 96 00:09:38,670 --> 00:09:40,370 Right. I've done that before, please. 97 00:09:41,210 --> 00:09:42,510 There's a Cheryl tonight dance. 98 00:09:43,310 --> 00:09:44,249 It'd be marvellous. 99 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:48,190 I mean, there's a dance tonight, Cheryl, so if you can come, I can come, and we 100 00:09:48,190 --> 00:09:52,170 can come together. I mean, go together. I mean, if there's any chance of you 101 00:09:52,170 --> 00:09:53,370 coming, that'd be marvellous. 102 00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:56,670 So don't let me interrupt you if you are coming. 103 00:09:58,730 --> 00:10:02,490 Good morning, Cheryl. 104 00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,430 Good morning, pigeon. 105 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,170 Get out and move your bloody bag. 106 00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:13,680 Mr. Lappant, please. Oh, my God, please, will you stop it? 107 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,040 Come in. 108 00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:20,060 Morning, John. 109 00:10:20,580 --> 00:10:21,580 Rush, isn't it? 110 00:10:21,860 --> 00:10:22,759 Pigeon, sir. 111 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:28,860 This survey, based on Mr. and Mrs. Great Britain's sexual 112 00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:31,600 habits... I can see you up there! 113 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:37,720 ...must be completed and returned. 114 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:44,220 It is simply a question of fitting it in. 115 00:10:45,060 --> 00:10:46,060 You got that down? 116 00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,620 A pigeon, sir. 117 00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:49,860 Not as much. 118 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,600 Where in God's name did you get that ridiculous outfit? 119 00:10:54,540 --> 00:10:55,900 Oh, just picked them up, sir. 120 00:10:56,140 --> 00:10:57,620 So somebody threw it away, eh? 121 00:10:57,980 --> 00:10:58,980 Eh? 122 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,060 Somebody threw it away. 123 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:03,300 Very funny, sir. 124 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:04,600 Follow me. 125 00:11:32,010 --> 00:11:33,330 And you bloody well think so. 126 00:11:33,670 --> 00:11:35,150 This is my research team, Tit. 127 00:11:36,970 --> 00:11:38,510 Say hello to Tit, chaps. 128 00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:39,910 Hello, Tit. 129 00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:44,350 What are they researching, sir? Mind your own business. Get on with your 130 00:11:45,850 --> 00:11:46,850 Happy, darling. 131 00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:04,030 attention. If you haven't been pulling, you're away. 132 00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,990 I'm pulling everything I can, sir. Yes, well, you'll just have to pull it 133 00:12:06,990 --> 00:12:07,990 harder, won't you? 134 00:12:08,730 --> 00:12:09,409 Did you? 135 00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:10,410 You think so? 136 00:12:10,490 --> 00:12:11,490 Well, let's file. 137 00:12:12,630 --> 00:12:13,630 There. 138 00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:16,010 Good. 139 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,770 I'll be quite sorry when I get my filing cabinet back. 140 00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:22,890 Yes, it's very interesting. 141 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,930 According to these tips, you're only suitable for making a tea. 142 00:12:26,230 --> 00:12:28,950 Well, I... I'm trying to improve myself in my spare time, sir. Well, I hope 143 00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:31,950 you're not doing it in a firm's time. Otherwise, I shall just have to have you 144 00:12:31,950 --> 00:12:32,950 on the carpet. 145 00:12:33,690 --> 00:12:36,490 All right, Joe, that's not fair. It's my turn. 146 00:12:37,110 --> 00:12:38,890 Oh, dear, dear. 147 00:12:39,730 --> 00:12:40,730 So it is. 148 00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:42,170 I'm so sorry. 149 00:12:42,650 --> 00:12:43,650 Get out of here. 150 00:12:48,430 --> 00:12:49,430 Pigeon, we want to be alone. 151 00:12:49,910 --> 00:12:50,910 Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. 152 00:12:58,990 --> 00:13:02,070 Keep your hands off the office furniture. I polished that this morning. 153 00:13:05,990 --> 00:13:06,990 Sorry, sir. 154 00:13:10,530 --> 00:13:11,910 I love you, Penelope. 155 00:13:12,230 --> 00:13:14,510 I can't stand other men touching your body. 156 00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:19,850 No more, John. 157 00:13:20,290 --> 00:13:24,850 Perhaps deep down, Miss Bascombe was gripped with an overwhelming urge to rip 158 00:13:24,850 --> 00:13:28,590 off your sexy satin looms, but somehow managed to suppress it. 159 00:13:28,910 --> 00:13:29,910 Don't take the piss. 160 00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:33,410 Yeah. I don't suppose you want to come to the nuclear physicist's fancy dress 161 00:13:33,410 --> 00:13:35,450 ball tonight, do you? I stole two tickets. 162 00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:36,730 Uh, night flakes. 163 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,290 More dresses at the cleaners. 164 00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:42,170 Besides, I've got an every night fan of me, you know. 165 00:13:42,730 --> 00:13:43,730 Oh, yeah, I forgot. 166 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,750 All them doorbells. All right. 167 00:13:46,550 --> 00:13:47,550 Right, guinea pig. 168 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,830 Get yourself ready for Experiment 13, Series 11. 169 00:13:51,210 --> 00:13:52,910 Now, cop hold of these and stand over there. 170 00:13:53,430 --> 00:13:54,430 Do I have to? 171 00:13:55,150 --> 00:13:56,290 I mean, uh... 172 00:13:57,390 --> 00:14:03,050 This isn't going to make me, you know, sterile, is it? I don't suppose for one 173 00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:05,870 moment, Keith, that you really know what that word means. 174 00:14:07,770 --> 00:14:08,990 Three O -levels. 175 00:14:13,090 --> 00:14:16,370 Right, Agnes is homing straight in on you. I'm commencing the experiment. 176 00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:17,750 This is fascinating. 177 00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:22,650 I've generated a frequency I've never been able to reach before. 178 00:14:22,970 --> 00:14:23,970 You can fly that again. 179 00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:35,460 One more time. 180 00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:39,260 Let me take a reading. 181 00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:41,620 Incredible. 182 00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:43,660 Let me know if you start feeling queer. 183 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,340 Smell effects, sweetie. 184 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:49,600 I do. 185 00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:50,620 Watch it. 186 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,160 Love me. 187 00:14:52,580 --> 00:14:53,580 Love me. 188 00:14:53,780 --> 00:14:54,780 Yes. 189 00:14:57,140 --> 00:14:58,140 What happened? 190 00:14:58,220 --> 00:14:59,280 Nothing, thank God. 191 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,970 Why don't you go and take a nice long walk in the fresh air? 192 00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:05,129 Yeah, yeah. 193 00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:07,390 Or better still, take a cold shower. 194 00:15:07,630 --> 00:15:08,209 Why not? 195 00:15:08,210 --> 00:15:10,910 And while you're at it, ask Vera to come in and help me finish the experiment, 196 00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:11,429 will you? 197 00:15:11,430 --> 00:15:12,430 Yeah, all right. 198 00:15:14,610 --> 00:15:16,050 John? Yes, Keith? 199 00:15:18,230 --> 00:15:19,650 You won't tell anyone, will you? 200 00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:21,550 What, that you're a raving poofter? 201 00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:23,410 Yeah. Don't worry, Keith. 202 00:15:23,650 --> 00:15:24,950 Your secret's safe with me. 203 00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:27,490 It's a relief. 204 00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:45,160 Alvera? Er, John, would you help him with one of his experiments? 205 00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:46,620 Oh, right. 206 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,820 Mr. Jones, your spell test is waiting. 207 00:15:53,380 --> 00:15:55,380 Your spell test is waiting. 208 00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,740 If only I'd known, Cheryl. 209 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:01,640 If only Keith had told me. 210 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:07,900 If he'd come to me and said, John, I'm bent, I'm a poof, I'm gay, well, I would 211 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:08,559 have understood. 212 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,560 Would have kept me distant. 213 00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:11,750 Kicked his teeth in, and that would have been that. 214 00:16:15,050 --> 00:16:22,010 That rejuvenating 215 00:16:22,010 --> 00:16:25,230 drug's quite powerful, isn't it? Oh, they haven't been on the rejuvenating 216 00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:26,490 They're just dirty old men. 217 00:16:27,050 --> 00:16:28,050 What's up with your nose? 218 00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:30,050 Nothing. What do you want me for? 219 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,790 Well, I wondered if you could help me with an experiment. 220 00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:33,390 Keith's indisposed. 221 00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:35,550 But I just run into him in the corridor. 222 00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,350 He didn't seem indisposed to me. 223 00:16:37,670 --> 00:16:38,990 Well, I had to send him out for a bit. 224 00:16:39,260 --> 00:16:41,140 He wasn't feeling himself. You can say that again. 225 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:42,440 Well, he wasn't feeling himself. 226 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,560 Hello? Hello, ma 'am. 227 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,280 It's a key for you. 228 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,180 Hello, dear. How are you? 229 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:52,440 All right. 230 00:16:54,060 --> 00:16:56,640 Ma 'am, I want to ask you something. 231 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:57,919 Yes, dear? 232 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:01,000 Would you say I was bent for raving pufter? 233 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:02,639 Certainly, dear. 234 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,480 You're bent and a raving pufter. 235 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:08,280 No, no, I mean... Would you say I was... 236 00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:13,160 G -A -Y. 237 00:17:14,579 --> 00:17:15,579 G -A -Y? 238 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,359 Um, no, I don't think so, dear. 239 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:19,720 Why do you ask? 240 00:17:20,099 --> 00:17:21,099 Just wondered. 241 00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:22,460 Oh, fancy. 242 00:17:23,339 --> 00:17:24,339 Thanks, Mum. 243 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:25,440 All right, dear. 244 00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:27,419 Bye -bye. 245 00:17:27,420 --> 00:17:28,420 Bye -bye. 246 00:17:31,820 --> 00:17:33,120 Oh, that's better. 247 00:17:33,740 --> 00:17:34,840 Who was it, Ethel? 248 00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:36,380 Keith, dear. 249 00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:37,620 What do you want? 250 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,040 Wasn't I abused a bit of a poof? 251 00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:40,440 What did you say? 252 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:41,960 I said no. 253 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,120 Bye, Mum. 254 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,500 Running the family's bad enough. 255 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:52,900 Now, hop over these. 256 00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:54,460 No, no, no. 257 00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:57,740 You're looking gay today. 258 00:17:58,340 --> 00:17:59,880 I'd rather you didn't use that word, Vera. 259 00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:03,100 Right. 260 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:05,240 This is fascinating. 261 00:18:05,860 --> 00:18:09,180 I'm generating a frequency five, six, seven times higher than usual. 262 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,260 Tell me, Vera, what do you feel like? 263 00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:17,860 A bit of the other. A bit of the other. 264 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:19,280 Vera. 265 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:20,760 Here, let's go. 266 00:18:21,220 --> 00:18:22,220 Let go. 267 00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:23,940 Oh, I love you, John. 268 00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:27,600 Vera, Vera, will you please get off? For crying out loud. 269 00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:30,760 Oh, you're on top of my... Don't change. 270 00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:33,200 Now, get off. 271 00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:39,340 I... I don't know what come over me. 272 00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:40,770 It was a bucket of water, love. 273 00:18:44,410 --> 00:18:45,410 Here. 274 00:18:49,050 --> 00:18:50,050 Rub yourself down. 275 00:18:55,890 --> 00:18:57,110 It's going to be one of them days. 276 00:19:02,670 --> 00:19:03,930 You'll bear me out, Agnes. 277 00:19:05,030 --> 00:19:08,210 How many times have I told Keith that coffee cups... 278 00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:09,810 Spoil your delicate mechanism. 279 00:19:36,170 --> 00:19:37,550 It's all in the closet sign. 280 00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:56,790 Tell me, Nutbrown, what exactly is everyone doing around here, besides 281 00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:57,810 one hell of a time? 282 00:19:58,470 --> 00:20:00,230 Measuring orgasms, sir. What? 283 00:20:00,470 --> 00:20:02,650 Just like every other two -bit sex clinic? 284 00:20:03,170 --> 00:20:06,530 Quite honestly, I expected to see something a little more adventurous 285 00:20:06,530 --> 00:20:10,010 here, you know. Have you seen our scheme for relieving destructive orgasms? 286 00:20:10,270 --> 00:20:11,990 Well, don't they come under your national health? 287 00:20:13,930 --> 00:20:17,770 Can you tell me why they are crossing jaguars with rabbits in the U .S., are 288 00:20:17,770 --> 00:20:21,630 they? Oh, why are they crossing jaguars with rabbits in the U .S., are they? To 289 00:20:21,630 --> 00:20:22,670 make a fast buck. 290 00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:30,930 You were nearly fired, then. Agnes can get me any woman I want. 291 00:20:32,050 --> 00:20:33,050 Even Cheryl. 292 00:20:34,630 --> 00:20:35,890 But she'll need modifying. 293 00:20:36,290 --> 00:20:37,290 Who, Cheryl? 294 00:20:37,510 --> 00:20:38,870 No, Agnes. 295 00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:42,050 Not Brown, if that is indeed your name. 296 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,400 I want something to show the delegates at next week's International Sex 297 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:50,660 Congress. Something bulging with worldwide appeal. 298 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:52,860 Grab your wallet. I heard that. 299 00:20:55,940 --> 00:20:57,700 There we are. British technical know -how. 300 00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,280 You just can't beat it. 301 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:00,660 Yeah, look at Europe. 302 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,580 There's just one thing, though. What's that? 303 00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:05,020 Agnes must work only for me. 304 00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:06,860 I alone must control her. 305 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,160 Of course you must, yeah. 306 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,740 Now then, we must link her to the Institute's computer. 307 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,620 Are you sure you know what you're doing, John? 308 00:21:26,820 --> 00:21:30,000 Yeah. The instructions in home electronics were quite specific. 309 00:21:30,460 --> 00:21:31,460 You're fantastic. 310 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:32,880 I know. 311 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:34,400 Feed in the cards. 312 00:21:42,500 --> 00:21:44,320 Go on, then. Feed the cards in. 313 00:22:07,050 --> 00:22:08,050 Have you finished yet? 314 00:22:10,950 --> 00:22:11,950 Yeah. 315 00:22:12,030 --> 00:22:13,030 Good. 316 00:22:13,690 --> 00:22:15,730 Amazing what you can do during your dinner hour, innit? 317 00:22:16,310 --> 00:22:18,310 Well, the hard part of the job's almost finished. 318 00:22:18,810 --> 00:22:19,810 Oh, really? 319 00:22:19,990 --> 00:22:21,250 What's the easy part, Einstein? 320 00:22:21,950 --> 00:22:25,290 Building a portable model during the shop steward's tea break. Come on, let's 321 00:22:25,290 --> 00:22:26,290 go. 322 00:22:30,310 --> 00:22:33,290 Right, I'm taking the rest of the day off. Try out the portable model in the 323 00:22:33,290 --> 00:22:34,290 field, so to speak. 324 00:22:34,690 --> 00:22:36,550 You're in charge, so cover up for me. 325 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:37,960 Right. 326 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,280 Don't do anything I wouldn't do. 327 00:23:27,850 --> 00:23:30,010 I've warned you about this sort of thing before. 328 00:23:30,390 --> 00:23:31,490 Many times. 329 00:23:31,890 --> 00:23:37,110 Who cares about warnings? I want to live dangerously. 330 00:23:37,530 --> 00:23:41,530 I want to feel the long arm of your Lord. 331 00:23:41,890 --> 00:23:42,890 Don't care? 332 00:23:45,450 --> 00:23:46,450 Doris. 333 00:23:46,790 --> 00:23:49,070 Doris. Oh, Doris. 334 00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:52,630 Doris. Careful now, Doris. 335 00:23:53,330 --> 00:23:58,190 Doris, what am I supposed to do now? And when we're on duty as well, we... 336 00:23:58,190 --> 00:24:03,070 Listen, son, step on the gas and don't worry about speeding. 337 00:24:03,370 --> 00:24:04,410 Sorry, engine trouble. 338 00:24:05,150 --> 00:24:08,250 Doris, I must warn you, anything you say will be taken down. 339 00:24:08,470 --> 00:24:09,530 Knickers, Gavin, knickers. 340 00:24:09,830 --> 00:24:11,510 Come back, Gavin, come back. 341 00:24:11,850 --> 00:24:14,170 Gavin, you can punch my ticket any time. 342 00:24:14,470 --> 00:24:19,850 Oh, Doris, Doris, you can't take the law into your own hands. 343 00:24:21,310 --> 00:24:24,030 Doris, that's my truncheon pocket. 344 00:24:58,570 --> 00:25:01,490 Every time I deliver your bloody mail, sir. 345 00:25:03,550 --> 00:25:04,550 Thank you, postman. 346 00:25:14,590 --> 00:25:16,430 Look at that. There ought to be a law. 347 00:25:16,650 --> 00:25:18,690 Oh, there is. Well, thank you, postman. 348 00:25:59,630 --> 00:26:00,630 That'd be years ago. 349 00:26:01,030 --> 00:26:02,030 14th Wilsdon Scout Movement. 350 00:26:02,210 --> 00:26:04,290 Having a bit of a waste paper drive. Anything you might like to contribute? 351 00:26:04,750 --> 00:26:06,150 Well, it's funny you should say that, Tenderfoot. 352 00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:07,690 Come right in. 353 00:26:07,730 --> 00:26:08,730 Lead on, Squire. 354 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:56,400 Mr. Swift! 355 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:57,759 Pigeon, what is it? 356 00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,320 There's some people here who want a word with you. 357 00:26:59,660 --> 00:27:00,359 Oh, really? 358 00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:02,880 This is a disgusting piece of rubbish, your property. 359 00:27:03,180 --> 00:27:05,200 No, he's from the 14 pools and true. 360 00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:07,940 I mean the indecent contents of this van. 361 00:27:08,540 --> 00:27:09,540 Oh, yes, that's mine. 362 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:14,620 I am Mary Watchtower of the Clean Up the World campaign, and these are some of 363 00:27:14,620 --> 00:27:15,620 the members of my committee. 364 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,480 We would appreciate an immediate explanation. 365 00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:20,540 I think I could satisfy you. 366 00:27:21,460 --> 00:27:23,940 I am pleased to hear that. Just hang on a minute. 367 00:27:30,220 --> 00:27:31,300 You're getting the right vibrations up. 368 00:27:34,980 --> 00:27:36,280 Not in the car. 369 00:27:39,060 --> 00:27:40,660 Here, keep it down with the back there. 370 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:45,920 Now watch closely, Doctor. 371 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:51,700 This is the scene where the burglar leaps naked out of the shower and 372 00:27:51,700 --> 00:27:54,340 the au pair girl while she's cleaning the oven. 373 00:27:58,120 --> 00:28:01,330 This one's so much fun. More technical than the others. 374 00:28:01,630 --> 00:28:03,950 And very much more corrupting. 375 00:28:23,530 --> 00:28:24,810 Give me a kiss. 376 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,160 Funny how they always keep their socks on. 377 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:22,680 Morning, 378 00:29:23,340 --> 00:29:24,340 Pete. Morning. 379 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:28,160 Fortunately, I'm in a good mood. Otherwise, I might have to confiscate 380 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,360 marbles. You leave my marbles alone. 381 00:29:33,380 --> 00:29:34,540 Where did the taste go? 382 00:29:35,060 --> 00:29:36,060 Faultlessly. 383 00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:37,540 Today, the Institute. 384 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:39,900 Tomorrow, Miss Cheryl Baskin. 385 00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:42,680 Well, she wouldn't do that, Keith. 386 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:44,840 Nothing can stop me now. 387 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,640 Yeah, except dead from sex, you look forward to. Yes, I do have that to look 388 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:49,459 forward to. 389 00:29:49,460 --> 00:29:50,460 That you would. 390 00:29:56,180 --> 00:29:57,180 That's just a moron. Mate. 391 00:29:57,380 --> 00:29:58,900 Oh, it's you, Johnny. 392 00:29:59,180 --> 00:30:01,440 Oh, hello, Fred. I didn't recognise you without your broom. 393 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,520 I thought you were one of these junkies that shoot up on the gents. 394 00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:06,020 They must be a big problem to you. 395 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:07,099 Not really. 396 00:30:07,100 --> 00:30:07,819 Why not? 397 00:30:07,820 --> 00:30:09,060 Well, we don't get any of them here. 398 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,700 Now peel yours. Your nipple distension tests are ready. 399 00:30:15,980 --> 00:30:18,860 Your nipple distension tests are ready. 400 00:30:35,620 --> 00:30:36,680 Right, Cheryl. 401 00:30:37,020 --> 00:30:39,040 With love, from me to you. 402 00:30:48,710 --> 00:30:50,010 Good morning, John. You busy? 403 00:30:51,770 --> 00:30:52,770 No, no, Fred. 404 00:30:55,330 --> 00:30:58,950 Fred, Fred, open this door. Fred, Fred. 405 00:30:59,750 --> 00:31:00,750 Fred. 406 00:31:01,530 --> 00:31:02,550 Now stop that, Fred. 407 00:31:03,550 --> 00:31:04,550 Fred. 408 00:31:04,990 --> 00:31:05,990 Fred, 409 00:31:06,550 --> 00:31:07,550 I know you're in there. 410 00:31:08,070 --> 00:31:10,690 Oh, thank you, thank you. I needed that. 411 00:31:11,950 --> 00:31:16,630 Bye darling Why 412 00:31:16,630 --> 00:31:21,650 do they always keep this All 413 00:31:21,650 --> 00:31:31,370 right 414 00:31:31,370 --> 00:31:32,910 you go switch on the current 415 00:31:59,270 --> 00:32:00,270 Where's Cheryl? 416 00:32:01,510 --> 00:32:03,090 I'm a temp on loan. 417 00:32:04,070 --> 00:32:05,450 From Robert Price. 418 00:32:06,770 --> 00:32:07,870 Come, baby. 419 00:32:11,470 --> 00:32:13,970 My name's Wendy. What's yours? 420 00:32:14,410 --> 00:32:15,410 Julian Lestrange. 421 00:32:15,950 --> 00:32:18,050 And I must warn you, Wendy, I'm a practicing homosexual. 422 00:32:18,450 --> 00:32:19,690 Stop practicing, Julian. 423 00:32:19,910 --> 00:32:21,350 You're perfect as you are. 424 00:32:22,810 --> 00:32:25,690 Let me show you what you've been missing. 425 00:32:32,030 --> 00:32:33,030 Wendy? 426 00:32:37,610 --> 00:32:38,610 Now, Wendy? 427 00:32:48,460 --> 00:32:49,460 think, say. 428 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,760 It's always much better after a chase, isn't it? 429 00:32:53,260 --> 00:32:56,060 Wendy, hi Wendy. Oh, I love Spain too. 430 00:32:56,860 --> 00:32:58,420 I went there for my house. 431 00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:00,320 Wendy. Olé. 432 00:33:20,140 --> 00:33:21,140 body's broken. 433 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,200 I banged myself bloody badly on that basket. 434 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:26,860 You certainly measured your length in that corridor. 435 00:33:27,660 --> 00:33:29,940 I was lucky to escape with my dignity intact. 436 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:32,660 Not to mention my manhood. 437 00:33:32,900 --> 00:33:33,980 Your manhood? 438 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,400 I told you not to mention my manhood. 439 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,000 Big, isn't it? Yeah. 440 00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:45,160 GPO tower. 441 00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:46,960 Oh, yeah. 442 00:33:52,949 --> 00:33:53,949 goes. 443 00:33:54,890 --> 00:34:00,410 It takes 15 seconds 444 00:34:00,410 --> 00:34:02,430 to get up it. 445 00:34:02,710 --> 00:34:04,770 I wonder what got into her. 446 00:34:07,450 --> 00:34:09,409 Who? Wendy. 447 00:34:09,929 --> 00:34:11,210 Attacking you like that. 448 00:34:12,810 --> 00:34:13,810 You. 449 00:34:14,350 --> 00:34:16,290 Pleasuring Fred the janitor. 450 00:34:16,949 --> 00:34:20,570 I know. I just felt compelled to. 451 00:34:22,190 --> 00:34:26,590 And on each occasion, that horrible little... What's his name? Tom Tit? 452 00:34:26,850 --> 00:34:28,850 Pigeon. Precisely. He was there. 453 00:34:31,370 --> 00:34:35,050 I wonder if he's up to anything devious in that nasty little cubbyhole of his. 454 00:34:36,050 --> 00:34:37,290 I shouldn't think so. 455 00:34:39,030 --> 00:34:40,610 A notice was in his writing. 456 00:34:42,270 --> 00:34:43,530 You ought to get some rest. 457 00:34:44,350 --> 00:34:46,489 Why don't you go home? 458 00:34:47,050 --> 00:34:48,110 I should, shouldn't I? 459 00:34:48,550 --> 00:34:49,790 Can I give you a lift? 460 00:34:52,650 --> 00:34:53,650 My place. 461 00:34:54,130 --> 00:34:55,690 I'm afraid I've got to stay late. 462 00:34:56,130 --> 00:34:58,350 I've got to finish off what Wendy didn't get down to. 463 00:34:59,630 --> 00:35:00,630 Pity. 464 00:35:01,510 --> 00:35:02,509 Oh, no, sir. 465 00:35:02,510 --> 00:35:03,510 Sir? 466 00:35:03,910 --> 00:35:04,910 Sir? 467 00:35:05,090 --> 00:35:06,370 Sir? Sir? 468 00:35:06,910 --> 00:35:07,910 Sir? Sir? 469 00:35:10,930 --> 00:35:12,050 That's better. I needed that. 470 00:35:18,110 --> 00:35:21,770 Thought you'd gone, sir. 471 00:35:26,830 --> 00:35:27,890 All right, sir, you sound a bit gruff. 472 00:35:28,270 --> 00:35:31,750 If an eight -foot nymphomaniac of ample proportions had fallen on top of you, 473 00:35:31,790 --> 00:35:32,790 you'd sound a bit gruff. 474 00:35:38,630 --> 00:35:39,750 John! Cheryl. 475 00:35:45,210 --> 00:35:47,690 When you're feeling like it, just step inside. 476 00:36:28,910 --> 00:36:31,470 I've always wanted you, John. 477 00:36:32,670 --> 00:36:34,950 And I've always wanted to feel you too, Cheryl. 478 00:36:35,450 --> 00:36:37,010 I mean... I know what you mean. 479 00:36:38,370 --> 00:36:39,770 We both know what you mean. 480 00:36:41,590 --> 00:36:43,470 Well, I'm glad we both know what we know. 481 00:36:43,690 --> 00:36:50,470 I mean... I just can't seem to get 482 00:36:50,470 --> 00:36:52,070 your dress undone. 483 00:36:52,410 --> 00:36:53,890 Just rip it off, then I don't care. 484 00:36:54,190 --> 00:36:55,190 Right. 485 00:36:55,750 --> 00:36:56,750 Anything of yours? 486 00:36:56,830 --> 00:36:57,830 Anything. 487 00:36:58,770 --> 00:36:59,770 Oh. 488 00:37:01,150 --> 00:37:02,310 Sorry about my dickie. 489 00:37:02,710 --> 00:37:04,390 I just can't seem to keep it down. 490 00:37:05,670 --> 00:37:06,670 Excuse me. 491 00:37:07,590 --> 00:37:10,730 This is not an excuse me, so piss off and find your own bird. 492 00:37:12,030 --> 00:37:14,190 Just what are you up to, Janet? 493 00:37:15,650 --> 00:37:19,950 Oh, nothing, sir. We were both working late, so I decided to lay on a light 494 00:37:19,950 --> 00:37:21,270 supper and a couple of drinks. 495 00:37:21,660 --> 00:37:23,780 Miss Bascombe looks as though she's had one too many already. 496 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:27,620 Oh, my God. What happened? 497 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:28,880 I don't know. 498 00:37:29,020 --> 00:37:30,340 I just got here myself. 499 00:37:30,820 --> 00:37:32,440 Well, goodbye, Miss Bascombe. 500 00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:34,100 And thank you for the dance. 501 00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:37,080 And you too, sir. 502 00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:46,399 I'm sorry. 503 00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,320 I just wasn't feeling myself. 504 00:37:58,240 --> 00:38:04,000 It was that creep, Nut Brown. He said he'd forgotten his car keys. 505 00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,320 So near and yet so far. 506 00:38:06,540 --> 00:38:08,080 But I'm learning all the time. 507 00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:10,160 Agnes requires still greater development. 508 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:14,780 I need a faster response and a remote control unit. That's what I need. 509 00:38:15,450 --> 00:38:18,470 What you need is to give Miss Cheryl Baskin one. 510 00:38:20,350 --> 00:38:21,590 I wish you wouldn't do that, Keith. 511 00:38:22,630 --> 00:38:25,590 Oh, but listen, you'll never feed your other ear, mate. 512 00:38:26,770 --> 00:38:27,770 What do you mean? 513 00:38:27,810 --> 00:38:29,550 Well, it stands to reason, doesn't it? 514 00:38:29,930 --> 00:38:33,650 You can't expect to get a knee trembling in this building like bloody Paddington 515 00:38:33,650 --> 00:38:34,650 Station. 516 00:38:34,670 --> 00:38:38,570 What you want to do is to take Agnes around to Cheryl's flat. You'll get her 517 00:38:38,570 --> 00:38:39,570 her own then. 518 00:38:40,450 --> 00:38:42,550 That's not a bad idea for a congenital idiot. 519 00:38:43,750 --> 00:38:44,750 Turgeon. 520 00:38:49,350 --> 00:38:51,270 Oh, the black one's the more favourite. 521 00:38:54,490 --> 00:38:55,490 Well, 522 00:38:56,310 --> 00:38:58,950 when you're finished, you can start cleaning the cleaning store up. 523 00:38:59,190 --> 00:39:01,150 Our tame American benefactor, Trampus D. 524 00:39:01,370 --> 00:39:02,910 Hildebrand, is making a tour of inspection. 525 00:39:04,010 --> 00:39:05,310 And what goes on in there? 526 00:39:16,750 --> 00:39:19,050 Well, it sure sounds intriguing, Nutbrown. 527 00:39:31,530 --> 00:39:34,230 Just exactly what is going on in here, Nutbrown? 528 00:39:35,630 --> 00:39:41,930 This is the sonic research department, sir. Mr. Pigeon here is in charge and 529 00:39:41,930 --> 00:39:42,930 his assistant. 530 00:39:42,950 --> 00:39:44,770 Oh, glad to know you, Ryan. 531 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:46,480 A pigeon, sir. 532 00:39:46,940 --> 00:39:50,680 Likewise. Now, tell me, Swallow, what branch of sonic research are you into? 533 00:39:51,380 --> 00:39:55,000 This particular bag is autoepidisiac, sir. 534 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,300 Autoepidisiac? That would be invaluable to our lifestyle. 535 00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:02,000 Now, Brown, why isn't this man in larger surroundings? 536 00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:06,240 Oh, he's going to be moved to larger surroundings next week, sir. 537 00:40:06,700 --> 00:40:07,499 I am? 538 00:40:07,500 --> 00:40:08,218 You are. 539 00:40:08,220 --> 00:40:09,220 He is. 540 00:40:09,900 --> 00:40:12,580 Fine, fine. Well, keep up the good work, my lord, and... 541 00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:16,220 I look forward to wrapping with you at Mr. Nutbrown's dinner party tomorrow 542 00:40:16,220 --> 00:40:18,340 evening. You are coming, aren't you? 543 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:19,900 No, it's just briefing, Everleigh. 544 00:40:23,240 --> 00:40:25,600 Yes, he is coming, sir, yes. Oh, I am? You are. 545 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:26,759 He is? 546 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:28,560 Good. Well, see you then, Coot. 547 00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:31,980 Pigeon, sir. And thank you very much. I expected it. 548 00:40:32,540 --> 00:40:33,419 Right boy. 549 00:40:33,420 --> 00:40:34,420 Right boy. 550 00:40:37,460 --> 00:40:38,500 You're right about that. 551 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,240 Thanks to me, you've been invited to Nutbrown's tomorrow night. 552 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:42,640 As it happens, Keith. 553 00:40:43,050 --> 00:40:44,930 I'm more interested in Cheryl's tonight. 554 00:40:46,950 --> 00:40:50,290 I wish you wouldn't do that, Keith. 555 00:40:54,850 --> 00:40:56,270 Yes, Mr. Nutbrown? 556 00:40:56,690 --> 00:41:00,570 Would you bring your body, I mean your book in here, please, Miss Baskin? Yes, 557 00:41:00,570 --> 00:41:01,610 right away, Mr. Nutbrown. 558 00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:03,460 That was a party political broadcast. 559 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:10,000 Now, just starting on BBC One, a new series entitled Disasters. 560 00:43:10,020 --> 00:43:16,620 While here on two, we continue with episode five of the French Direction. 561 00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:23,540 Unknown to Mildred, the Nisan amateur racist has secreted himself in 562 00:43:23,540 --> 00:43:26,000 her walnut -veneered plywood wardrobe. 563 00:43:26,620 --> 00:43:28,080 and awaited her coming. 564 00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:09,080 Yes, wardrobe. 565 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:12,800 No, no, not wardrobe. 566 00:44:13,540 --> 00:44:14,540 It's John. 567 00:44:14,860 --> 00:44:15,940 John Pigeon. 568 00:44:16,180 --> 00:44:17,480 I'm in the wardrobe. 569 00:44:18,100 --> 00:44:20,140 Oh, John, I knew it was you. 570 00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:22,600 I've had this feeling before. 571 00:44:23,820 --> 00:44:25,440 Come to me quickly. 572 00:44:25,980 --> 00:44:27,700 Would you mind unlocking the door, then? 573 00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:38,820 Alone, my dear one. 574 00:44:39,900 --> 00:44:41,680 As far as I can tell, my pet. 575 00:44:46,100 --> 00:44:48,600 I've wanted you for so long. 576 00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:50,140 Open the door, my sweetheart. 577 00:44:50,460 --> 00:44:52,560 I can't, my hero. 578 00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:53,940 Why not, my dearest? 579 00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:55,560 Because it's locked, my pet. 580 00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:57,760 Well, get the key, my one and only love. 581 00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:59,480 Where is it, my sweet? 582 00:44:59,820 --> 00:45:00,900 Look for the bloody thing. 583 00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:04,240 I can't find it. 584 00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:07,920 That's what you think. 585 00:45:12,100 --> 00:45:17,260 You don't think I'm too bumpy, as you said. He shook his head like so much 586 00:45:19,780 --> 00:45:22,300 I wish he wouldn't do that. 587 00:45:43,580 --> 00:45:46,640 Tiger. What are you up to in there, Dennis? Hunky -punky? 588 00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:48,400 I'm not having that in my house. 589 00:45:51,860 --> 00:45:52,860 That's a ritual. 590 00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:55,700 Open up! Open up! 591 00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:56,960 It is open. 592 00:45:57,100 --> 00:45:58,100 Yeah, I know that. 593 00:46:07,630 --> 00:46:09,090 You think Waldo fell on top of that? 594 00:46:09,430 --> 00:46:10,750 Perhaps she needs a doctor. 595 00:46:12,090 --> 00:46:13,470 Now then, my dear. 596 00:46:14,130 --> 00:46:15,610 Stop struggling. 597 00:46:16,130 --> 00:46:17,610 Tell me what happened. There's a good girl. 598 00:46:21,610 --> 00:46:25,710 Did you say good girl? 599 00:46:28,450 --> 00:46:30,390 Did you say your name was? 600 00:46:32,090 --> 00:46:33,090 Dennis. 601 00:46:34,670 --> 00:46:36,110 What can I do for you? 602 00:46:37,720 --> 00:46:38,720 Chase me. 603 00:46:39,500 --> 00:46:40,500 All right. 604 00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:44,600 Naughty, naughty Danny. 605 00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:48,880 Oh, yes he is. So active and so feral. 606 00:46:50,220 --> 00:46:53,760 Is this a private party or can anybody join in? Naughty, naughty. 607 00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:21,540 How'd you make out last night, John? 608 00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:22,960 Eh? 609 00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:24,640 Terrific, eh? 610 00:47:25,140 --> 00:47:27,320 Would you give her one? 611 00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:28,960 Eh? 612 00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:31,740 Go on, let me in on all those blurry details. 613 00:47:32,540 --> 00:47:33,540 Eh? 614 00:47:33,780 --> 00:47:34,780 Eh? 615 00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:42,020 I wish you wouldn't do that, Keith. 616 00:47:43,380 --> 00:47:44,780 I don't hold a grudge. 617 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,000 You're a genius. 618 00:47:47,540 --> 00:47:48,680 I forgive you. 619 00:47:49,930 --> 00:47:51,190 What trip are you on now, then? 620 00:47:51,630 --> 00:47:52,630 No trip. 621 00:47:53,050 --> 00:47:55,250 I've discovered a new, improved Agnes. 622 00:47:55,910 --> 00:47:58,110 Double the range, double the power. 623 00:47:58,630 --> 00:47:59,970 Double the bleeding trouble. 624 00:48:01,130 --> 00:48:05,310 Obviously, it's not in my stars that Miss Bascombe should satisfy my cruel, 625 00:48:05,510 --> 00:48:06,510 carnal desires. 626 00:48:07,030 --> 00:48:11,330 However, I do seem to be able to turn on every other bugger in sight, and I 627 00:48:11,330 --> 00:48:12,630 intend to do just that. 628 00:48:13,490 --> 00:48:14,630 When? Where? 629 00:48:15,130 --> 00:48:17,450 Tonight, at Nut Brown's party. 630 00:48:18,830 --> 00:48:20,050 The people don't know it's you. 631 00:48:20,290 --> 00:48:21,430 You'll get your cards. 632 00:48:22,110 --> 00:48:23,850 The subjects never know what's hidden. 633 00:48:24,790 --> 00:48:25,790 It is true. 634 00:48:28,010 --> 00:48:28,988 Oh, Keith. 635 00:48:28,990 --> 00:48:29,990 Yeah? 636 00:48:30,210 --> 00:48:32,610 I'm sorry I hit you earlier with my subsidised fruit. 637 00:48:33,510 --> 00:48:35,350 Something just snapped. You know how it is. 638 00:48:35,590 --> 00:48:36,590 Oh, it's all right, John. 639 00:48:37,770 --> 00:48:41,110 As I said, one has to make an answer for genius. 640 00:48:41,730 --> 00:48:42,730 Thanks. 641 00:48:46,850 --> 00:48:47,850 Cheers, John. 642 00:48:48,750 --> 00:48:49,950 Wish you wouldn't do that, Keith. 643 00:49:04,170 --> 00:49:10,550 I say, wouldn't you think in this day and age that the presence of matter in 644 00:49:10,550 --> 00:49:15,470 space is associated with the warping of the continuum in the neighborhood? 645 00:49:16,010 --> 00:49:21,710 then it must follow that scientific concepts secure the meaning from the, 646 00:49:21,750 --> 00:49:24,110 a veritable set of operations involved. 647 00:49:25,110 --> 00:49:26,730 Hmm? I don't know. 648 00:49:26,950 --> 00:49:28,390 I never watched Star Trek. 649 00:49:28,850 --> 00:49:31,830 Oh. Well, get me a bloody gin and tonic, will you, waiter? 650 00:49:32,730 --> 00:49:33,730 Get it yourself. 651 00:49:34,690 --> 00:49:35,870 Silly old fart. 652 00:49:38,030 --> 00:49:39,030 Hello, John. 653 00:49:39,690 --> 00:49:42,850 Oh, hello, Miss Batcombe. Fancy seeing you here. 654 00:49:43,190 --> 00:49:44,190 Call me Cheryl. 655 00:49:44,590 --> 00:49:48,200 Cheryl. Mr. Nutbrown needed me to be charming to his foreign visitors. 656 00:49:49,340 --> 00:49:50,480 Lucky foreign visitors. 657 00:49:51,700 --> 00:49:54,820 Hey, do you mind sitting next to me at dinner? 658 00:49:55,260 --> 00:49:56,260 Oh, I'd love it. 659 00:49:56,380 --> 00:49:58,880 Otherwise Mr. Nutbrown's going to be groping me all through starters. 660 00:49:59,920 --> 00:50:03,020 Have you met the wife? 661 00:50:05,020 --> 00:50:06,020 Attention, attention. 662 00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:08,120 A table tout le monde. 663 00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:10,640 The dinner's ready and the avocados are getting soggy. 664 00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:13,840 Shall we? 665 00:50:14,020 --> 00:50:15,020 Why not? 666 00:50:15,240 --> 00:50:16,240 After you. 667 00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:23,720 I'll catch you up. 668 00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:54,240 You know, I was going to do something really outrageous tonight, Cheryl, till 669 00:50:54,240 --> 00:50:55,240 met you. 670 00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:57,060 But I've had second thoughts about it now. 671 00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,100 I think you've done very well already, John. 672 00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:00,520 Thank you, Cheryl. 673 00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:02,960 Come here. 674 00:51:04,300 --> 00:51:05,300 It's you, Cheryl. 675 00:51:05,620 --> 00:51:06,620 Just a moment, OK? 676 00:51:06,720 --> 00:51:07,720 Bye, Cheryl. 677 00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:18,180 Hey, where's my bloody gin and tonic? 678 00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:19,760 Oh, I hadn't forgotten about it. 679 00:51:20,240 --> 00:51:21,240 I'll get it now. 680 00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:22,440 Just wait. 681 00:51:23,580 --> 00:51:24,580 There. 682 00:51:28,900 --> 00:51:30,760 Hey, hey, look at that. Look at that. 683 00:51:31,260 --> 00:51:34,520 I'm not interested in that. I'm more interested in Swan's infirmary. Hit him. 684 00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:37,560 Whatever he called it, that, uh, that, uh... Audio aphrodisiac. Audio 685 00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:38,580 aphrodisiac, no. 686 00:51:39,420 --> 00:51:43,000 Now, Miss Batchelor, you have to find out all about it, where he keeps it, how 687 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:47,000 it works. In other words, the works. Look, I wish I didn't have to do this, 688 00:51:47,020 --> 00:51:50,600 Nutbrow. He's really a very nice person. Yeah, and a wonderful human being. I 689 00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:51,600 know, I know. 690 00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:54,280 Listen, Miss Batchelor, there's no room for all that crap. 691 00:51:54,740 --> 00:51:55,900 Right now, the facts are these. 692 00:51:56,120 --> 00:52:00,060 The Sex Research Congress is in two days' time, and we've got to get his 693 00:52:00,060 --> 00:52:02,140 by then. Now, go to it. I am, I am. 694 00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:05,380 Look, I don't want to do it. Well, shut your eyes and think of England. 695 00:52:05,860 --> 00:52:08,440 Oh, no, no, Mr. Nutbrow. That's not what I had in mind. 696 00:52:09,230 --> 00:52:10,950 We are in your house, you know. 697 00:52:11,210 --> 00:52:12,930 Like they always do it with that sock on. 698 00:52:13,350 --> 00:52:14,690 Not what I had in mind at all. 699 00:52:16,290 --> 00:52:17,290 Here. 700 00:52:18,190 --> 00:52:19,190 Here. 701 00:52:20,750 --> 00:52:21,750 Here. 702 00:52:25,090 --> 00:52:28,030 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 703 00:52:29,470 --> 00:52:30,470 Ray, man. 704 00:52:30,530 --> 00:52:32,170 Pigeon. What? Can I have your attention, please? 705 00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:52,000 I suddenly have this uncontrollable urge to hold you very less. 706 00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:54,360 You'll have to catch me first. 707 00:52:55,640 --> 00:53:00,320 Do you do anything else but talk? Once in a while. 708 00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:01,560 Thank God you're not. 709 00:53:02,240 --> 00:53:05,660 Oh, I bet you invited the biggest in your class. 710 00:53:05,940 --> 00:53:07,200 Gentlemen, gentlemen, please. 711 00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:10,220 Now, what are the times? 712 00:54:26,890 --> 00:54:28,270 Noddy boy. Noddy boy. 713 00:54:29,450 --> 00:54:33,170 I'm coming to get you, Trampus. No, no, wait a minute. Wait a minute. 714 00:54:33,590 --> 00:54:34,630 Let's play statues. 715 00:54:35,750 --> 00:54:36,750 Who am I? 716 00:54:36,970 --> 00:54:39,210 Who? The Statue of Liberty. 717 00:54:39,490 --> 00:54:40,550 But don't you take any. 718 00:54:41,330 --> 00:54:42,330 Here I come. 719 00:54:42,910 --> 00:54:43,910 Is that a prize? 720 00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:01,720 He writes for a boy from New England, I tell you. 721 00:55:03,420 --> 00:55:05,240 Get out of my face, Martin! 722 00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:06,560 Fidget. 723 00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:08,280 I've lost my glasses. 724 00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:11,680 The brandy. 725 00:55:12,680 --> 00:55:14,680 Disgusting. Oh, no thanks, sir. 726 00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:16,060 One bottle's enough. 727 00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:27,620 Now, I expect you're wondering why I asked you here. 728 00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:29,100 Well, actually, sir, 729 00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:31,620 I was wondering where Carsey was. 730 00:55:31,860 --> 00:55:33,860 That concerns yesterday evening. 731 00:55:34,180 --> 00:55:38,760 I thought it might. I have reason to believe, I mean, I don't know why, that 732 00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:45,320 was you who organised that little debacle, little floor show that ended an 733 00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:50,160 otherwise civilised evening in suburban south -west London. 734 00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:53,220 Well, whatever gave you that idea, sir? Sit back! 735 00:55:53,840 --> 00:55:54,840 Here, 736 00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:58,360 Mr Nutbrow, you can't treat me like that. 737 00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:00,740 This is Great Britain in the 20th century. 738 00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,640 Great Britain was never in the 20th century. 739 00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:16,060 Now then, where is your infernal machine? 740 00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:19,980 I'm not telling you. You're not having it. Are you kidding? Everybody's been 741 00:56:19,980 --> 00:56:21,100 having it for the last week. 742 00:56:21,980 --> 00:56:22,980 Where's Agnes? 743 00:56:23,700 --> 00:56:25,960 I mean to have her. 744 00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:28,000 Never. 745 00:56:28,720 --> 00:56:29,720 Is that your final word? 746 00:56:30,820 --> 00:56:31,820 I'm sorry. 747 00:56:32,900 --> 00:56:34,240 You've asked for it. 748 00:56:37,380 --> 00:56:38,380 Heidi! 749 00:56:39,020 --> 00:56:40,020 Yes, sir? 750 00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:44,020 Bring in the research team. 751 00:56:44,420 --> 00:56:45,420 Certainly, sir. 752 00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:46,440 Go. 753 00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:51,920 Right, men. 754 00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:53,040 Right, sir. 755 00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:55,880 I found what it is. What are you going to do to me? 756 00:57:24,910 --> 00:57:28,030 Sorry, sir. We lost him. We just couldn't take it. 757 00:57:29,430 --> 00:57:30,530 Never mind, Heidi. 758 00:57:31,390 --> 00:57:34,390 There's more than one way to skin a cat. 759 00:57:35,710 --> 00:57:40,470 Did anyone ever tell you that you have assassinating eyes? 760 00:57:45,610 --> 00:57:47,310 Come here, you naughty bundle. 761 00:57:48,350 --> 00:57:49,350 Yes, uncle. 762 00:57:54,540 --> 00:57:55,540 So far. 763 00:57:56,260 --> 00:57:57,260 So good. 764 00:57:58,400 --> 00:57:59,880 But we still need more information. 765 00:58:01,180 --> 00:58:02,420 I don't know anymore. 766 00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:04,360 Honestly. 767 00:58:04,740 --> 00:58:05,740 Talk, kid. 768 00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:08,740 Otherwise we're going to let the fuzz in on how you get your kits. 769 00:58:10,540 --> 00:58:11,540 What do you mean? 770 00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:12,840 What do we mean? 771 00:58:13,220 --> 00:58:15,580 We mean doorbells, Keith. We mean doorbells. 772 00:58:17,100 --> 00:58:19,980 You wouldn't. Thought you'd kept it under wraps, didn't you? 773 00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:22,760 I don't know what you're talking about. 774 00:58:22,980 --> 00:58:23,979 Don't give me that. 775 00:58:23,980 --> 00:58:27,600 You know that you're the phantom doorbell ringer of Dollis Hill, aren't 776 00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:29,560 Aren't you? 777 00:58:30,620 --> 00:58:31,620 Yes! 778 00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:34,060 Yes! Yes! 779 00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:38,140 Let me talk to my mum. 780 00:58:38,680 --> 00:58:39,680 Depends on you, kid. 781 00:58:41,980 --> 00:58:42,980 What do you want to know? 782 00:58:44,180 --> 00:58:46,620 First, Woodcock. 783 00:58:46,940 --> 00:58:51,990 Pigeon. has invented a sex machine that turns people on by means of high 784 00:58:51,990 --> 00:58:53,650 -frequency sound waves, right? 785 00:58:54,610 --> 00:58:55,610 Right. Fair! 786 00:58:57,370 --> 00:58:58,370 Where is it? 787 00:59:00,930 --> 00:59:05,930 Please, isn't it in here somewhere, but... Even 788 00:59:05,930 --> 00:59:10,950 if you take it, you won't understand it! 789 00:59:11,430 --> 00:59:13,430 Only he knows how it's been programmed! 790 00:59:17,070 --> 00:59:20,770 This sounds like my back, Nutbrown. There isn't a computer code I can't 791 00:59:21,350 --> 00:59:24,990 I think we'd better get to the computer room, sir. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 792 00:59:25,210 --> 00:59:26,370 What about the kid? 793 00:59:27,910 --> 00:59:29,270 Don't worry about him, sir. 794 00:59:33,530 --> 00:59:34,530 Ding dong. 795 00:59:43,730 --> 00:59:44,870 It's a broken man, sir. 796 00:59:49,550 --> 00:59:52,030 I remind you that this machine cost two million dollars. 797 00:59:52,650 --> 00:59:54,530 These bargain offers are all the same. 798 00:59:55,690 --> 00:59:56,690 Wait a minute. 799 00:59:57,030 --> 00:59:57,888 Wait a minute. 800 00:59:57,890 --> 00:59:58,890 I've got an idea. 801 01:00:00,610 --> 01:00:02,530 It's an old one, but it might just work. 802 01:00:09,350 --> 01:00:12,210 Eureka! I've done it. That's it. I've done it. I've done it. 803 01:00:12,830 --> 01:00:13,830 How? 804 01:00:14,450 --> 01:00:19,000 Psychology. I told this heap of electrons... that if it didn't come up 805 01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:20,560 goods, I'd replace it with a human being. 806 01:00:21,260 --> 01:00:22,860 We still haven't got Agnes, though, have we? 807 01:00:23,140 --> 01:00:26,160 Oh, I think your secretary will be able to help us out there. 808 01:00:26,400 --> 01:00:27,400 A -H -J? 809 01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:33,000 From here on in, we're on cloud number seven. 810 01:00:33,280 --> 01:00:35,000 Nothing can possibly go wrong. 811 01:00:39,780 --> 01:00:40,960 Thank you, Nutbrown. 812 01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:45,340 Remind me to give you a raise. 813 01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:48,540 Excuse me, sir. Yes? Give me a raise. 814 01:00:50,020 --> 01:00:51,300 How much did you tell him, then? 815 01:00:52,420 --> 01:00:53,540 Only about the computer. 816 01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:55,660 Thanks very much. 817 01:00:55,940 --> 01:00:56,939 I'm sorry, John. 818 01:00:56,940 --> 01:00:58,000 I didn't mean to. 819 01:00:58,860 --> 01:01:01,040 It was the splinters at the nail foot, did it? 820 01:01:01,460 --> 01:01:03,960 I'll give you splinters at the bum if you tell him any more. 821 01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:06,860 What are you going to do now, then? 822 01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:09,880 Oh, I've got one or two little things up my sleeve. 823 01:01:11,260 --> 01:01:12,260 Yeah. 824 01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:16,400 Here, we're finished together. 825 01:01:16,780 --> 01:01:18,360 Shape? Already am. 826 01:01:20,420 --> 01:01:23,540 I've invented the new, improved Agnes, Mark III. 827 01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:25,620 Blondie, what does she do? 828 01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:27,120 Like the better, you know. 829 01:01:27,460 --> 01:01:30,620 Better than that, Keith. She can penetrate solid matter. 830 01:01:30,940 --> 01:01:31,919 Yeah? 831 01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:33,280 What are you going to use her for? 832 01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:36,020 Another attempt on Cheryl, of course. 833 01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:40,800 Why? You say to yourself. She's beginning to play it interesting, yeah? 834 01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:42,060 good Nut Brown told her to. 835 01:01:43,470 --> 01:01:48,670 What you need is to take us somewhere really secluded. 836 01:01:49,270 --> 01:01:51,170 Somewhere nobody else goes. 837 01:01:51,490 --> 01:01:53,090 How about our local cinema? 838 01:01:53,370 --> 01:01:54,370 Yeah! 839 01:01:54,390 --> 01:01:55,390 Nah. 840 01:01:56,650 --> 01:02:03,370 How about the company's secret executive 30 weekend hideaway in Isha that 841 01:02:03,370 --> 01:02:04,850 nobody's supposed to know about? 842 01:02:05,730 --> 01:02:07,030 I could go tomorrow. 843 01:02:07,270 --> 01:02:09,200 While Nut Brown's in... sex congress. 844 01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:12,680 Yeah, yeah, and you could also tell Cheryl that in keeping with your new 845 01:02:12,680 --> 01:02:15,220 position, you and I would be given an assignment down there. 846 01:02:15,860 --> 01:02:16,860 Sheer brilliance. 847 01:02:17,740 --> 01:02:18,740 Runs in a family. 848 01:02:19,140 --> 01:02:22,740 My uncle was a judge, and my auntie was his wife. 849 01:02:36,940 --> 01:02:38,980 First there, sir. We should share the profits. 850 01:02:39,440 --> 01:02:40,440 Fifty -fifty. 851 01:02:40,920 --> 01:02:43,600 Sixty -fourty, you crumb. It's my institute. 852 01:02:44,220 --> 01:02:45,460 Yes, well, it's my project. 853 01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:47,000 Fifty -fifty. 854 01:02:47,900 --> 01:02:50,460 Fifty -nine -forty -one and not a cent more. 855 01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:52,000 Fifty -fifty. 856 01:02:52,260 --> 01:02:54,120 No way, Not Brown, no way. 857 01:02:54,560 --> 01:02:55,560 Fifty -fifty. 858 01:02:56,900 --> 01:02:57,900 Definitely not. 859 01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:01,560 I refuse to discuss this anymore. Fifty -fifty. 860 01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:04,820 That's my last word. For God's sake, fifty -fifty. 861 01:04:15,150 --> 01:04:16,150 Come in, John. 862 01:04:33,890 --> 01:04:34,990 He's a fast worker. 863 01:04:35,310 --> 01:04:36,310 Who? 864 01:04:38,710 --> 01:04:39,710 Agnes. 865 01:04:44,750 --> 01:04:45,750 Just a friend of mine. 866 01:05:10,590 --> 01:05:13,050 Wait, laddie. Tell Keith about this. 867 01:05:22,570 --> 01:05:23,570 What was that? 868 01:05:23,590 --> 01:05:24,590 Nothing. 869 01:05:24,910 --> 01:05:25,910 Nothing to worry. 870 01:05:31,030 --> 01:05:32,110 I've got the machine. 871 01:05:35,210 --> 01:05:36,370 Soon I'll have something. 872 01:05:38,810 --> 01:05:41,290 Oi! Bring that back! She's mine! 873 01:05:42,310 --> 01:05:44,090 The swine! They've got Agnes! 874 01:05:44,350 --> 01:05:45,750 We don't need her, John. 875 01:05:47,290 --> 01:05:48,590 So long, suckers. 876 01:05:49,010 --> 01:05:50,090 OK, H .J. 877 01:05:50,540 --> 01:05:52,380 Let's burn some rubber. Radio W. 878 01:05:55,300 --> 01:05:57,680 Come on, I'm coming. 879 01:06:01,800 --> 01:06:02,900 What the hell? 880 01:06:03,980 --> 01:06:05,220 Crummy foreign car. 881 01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:23,000 What have we here? 882 01:08:23,660 --> 01:08:24,660 Attention! 883 01:08:25,920 --> 01:08:26,920 Don't move! 884 01:08:31,880 --> 01:08:32,880 Goodbye, 885 01:08:33,359 --> 01:08:39,100 you mother... Come on, let's get a bus. 886 01:08:45,340 --> 01:08:48,779 International Sex Research Congress. Thank you very much, sir. First on the 887 01:08:48,779 --> 01:08:49,779 right, the Western Suite. 888 01:08:49,970 --> 01:08:52,870 International Sex Research Congress, 1st on the right, 3rd of Western Street, 889 01:08:52,950 --> 01:08:53,749 thank you very much. 890 01:08:53,750 --> 01:08:59,830 International Sex Research Congress, 1st on the right... Oh, it's our... 1st on 891 01:08:59,830 --> 01:09:00,830 the left, down the corridor. 892 01:09:01,029 --> 01:09:02,529 Got a small drawing on the door. 893 01:09:02,890 --> 01:09:04,069 You're the one with trousers. 894 01:09:08,710 --> 01:09:11,930 Ladies and gentlemen, and others. 895 01:09:13,050 --> 01:09:18,750 Welcome to the 17th International Sex Research Congress, being held ever so 896 01:09:18,750 --> 01:09:19,750 gently. 897 01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:24,580 for the first time in dear old London time. 898 01:09:25,340 --> 01:09:28,460 And then we have to open with an apology. 899 01:09:29,180 --> 01:09:34,939 We have to cancel the first item on the agenda, the autogenetic notation for 900 01:09:34,939 --> 01:09:40,859 experimentation with sound, or as it is known to the cognoscente agonist. 901 01:09:41,180 --> 01:09:46,500 Unfortunately, the developers of this device have been unable to join us. So 902 01:09:46,500 --> 01:09:47,720 us turn instead to a gentleman. 903 01:09:48,160 --> 01:09:52,300 was recently been receiving a great exposure in the Department of Printing. 904 01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:54,180 Oh, really, I'm sorry. 905 01:09:54,620 --> 01:09:56,800 It gives me very great pleasure to... Hold on! 906 01:09:58,120 --> 01:10:03,180 Yes, sir, no. But I was referring, of course, to Professor Leetcock. The name 907 01:10:03,180 --> 01:10:05,980 Trampus D. Hildebrand, and this is my invention. 908 01:10:06,320 --> 01:10:10,040 Oh! S .J. Nutt -Brown. And this is my invention. Mr. 909 01:10:10,420 --> 01:10:11,318 Hildebrand, Mr. 910 01:10:11,320 --> 01:10:13,240 Invention, and this is... Agnes! 911 01:10:22,890 --> 01:10:28,470 I decide, without fear of interruption, that when you see this little beauty 912 01:10:28,470 --> 01:10:30,930 here in action, you will not believe your eyes. 913 01:10:32,210 --> 01:10:37,750 Because Agnes, that's what I call her, is an instantaneous audio aphrodisiac. 914 01:10:38,190 --> 01:10:40,170 Instantaneous audio aphrodisiac? 915 01:10:40,730 --> 01:10:41,730 Absolutely. 916 01:10:42,670 --> 01:10:43,670 Developed by me. 917 01:10:43,890 --> 01:10:44,890 Friends, 918 01:10:45,670 --> 01:10:46,850 I know what you're thinking. 919 01:10:47,290 --> 01:10:48,910 Actions speak louder than words. 920 01:10:49,570 --> 01:10:50,570 Therefore... 921 01:10:51,980 --> 01:10:55,740 and my charming assistant, Heidi, to aid me in a little demonstration. 922 01:10:56,540 --> 01:10:58,220 International sex research, comrades. 923 01:10:58,800 --> 01:10:59,940 Yes, that's right. Has it started? 924 01:11:00,320 --> 01:11:03,260 May I have your invitation, please? I'm afraid we haven't got any. A nerd 925 01:11:03,260 --> 01:11:06,460 missile without an invitation, sir. But you see, there's two men in there trying 926 01:11:06,460 --> 01:11:08,340 to steal my invention, and I've got to stop them. 927 01:11:09,440 --> 01:11:12,780 Would they be an American gentleman and an English gentleman, sir? They would. 928 01:11:13,020 --> 01:11:14,660 And they are trying to steal your invention? 929 01:11:14,940 --> 01:11:16,860 Yes. It is. 930 01:11:17,100 --> 01:11:18,720 Well, I can understand your concern. Good. 931 01:11:22,030 --> 01:11:24,230 There's far too much of this sort of thing going on, you know. Yes, there 932 01:11:24,230 --> 01:11:26,710 certainly is. Yes, there certainly is. And it should be stopped. 933 01:11:26,950 --> 01:11:28,070 Right, can I go in then? No. 934 01:11:58,960 --> 01:12:03,260 Now look here, whoever you are, you, woodcock, pigeon. 935 01:12:07,540 --> 01:12:11,740 Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to another of our esteemed 936 01:12:11,740 --> 01:12:15,400 colleagues without whom the development of Agnes would not have been possible. 937 01:12:18,100 --> 01:12:22,000 We were merely trying to help market Agnes for you, get the best deal, 938 01:12:22,000 --> 01:12:23,000 -wise. 939 01:12:27,140 --> 01:12:28,140 Switch. 940 01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:32,260 The model's untested. Well, let's test it. 941 01:12:33,360 --> 01:12:34,360 Flick that switch. 942 01:12:34,540 --> 01:12:35,560 Do that barge. 943 01:12:36,100 --> 01:12:36,919 Flick it. 944 01:12:36,920 --> 01:12:37,920 Okay. 945 01:12:38,060 --> 01:12:39,300 You're going to be sorry, though. 946 01:13:14,620 --> 01:13:18,760 Gosling, what the hell is going on here? This sound is driving everyone crazy. 947 01:13:20,220 --> 01:13:22,040 Gosling, can you hear me? 948 01:13:24,720 --> 01:13:27,760 I knew this was going to happen. She's programmed for a gunshot. 949 01:13:34,760 --> 01:13:37,180 Darling, I love you when you're angry. 950 01:13:40,020 --> 01:13:41,020 I'm going to grab him too. 951 01:15:45,640 --> 01:15:46,640 Mr. Pigeon. 952 01:15:49,120 --> 01:15:50,740 What, in the car again this evening, do you? 953 01:15:51,320 --> 01:15:52,320 Yes, in that case. 954 01:15:52,580 --> 01:15:54,020 Just stay there until I send for you. 955 01:16:01,400 --> 01:16:02,398 Morning, John. 956 01:16:02,400 --> 01:16:03,400 Morning, Keith. 957 01:16:04,500 --> 01:16:07,620 I'm going there for me holidays. 958 01:16:08,180 --> 01:16:09,180 Where's that? 959 01:16:10,520 --> 01:16:12,180 George Philip and Sam Limitless. 960 01:16:12,960 --> 01:16:13,960 London. 961 01:16:14,070 --> 01:16:18,130 Just what do you think you're playing at? Well, now that all the press 962 01:16:18,130 --> 01:16:20,090 you, we don't have to work so hard, do we? 963 01:16:20,590 --> 01:16:21,590 Maybe not. 964 01:16:21,890 --> 01:16:24,770 But I'm still going to get Cheryl, even if it kills me. 965 01:16:25,510 --> 01:16:28,310 You don't want to bubble that machine no more, sonny. 966 01:16:28,530 --> 01:16:30,770 Now that we've made it, the girl fancies you. 967 01:16:31,010 --> 01:16:33,110 I'm not Steve McQueen. True. 968 01:16:33,390 --> 01:16:35,870 And there's no reason on earth why anybody should fancy me. 969 01:16:36,550 --> 01:16:38,230 Yeah, it's tough at the top. 970 01:16:40,750 --> 01:16:44,010 Kindly allow me to do things my way. Get your feet off my desk and go and see if 971 01:16:44,010 --> 01:16:45,010 she's in. 972 01:16:45,710 --> 01:16:46,710 Okay, John. 973 01:16:53,570 --> 01:16:54,570 Is she in? 974 01:16:57,850 --> 01:16:58,950 Yeah, yeah. 975 01:16:59,410 --> 01:17:00,470 Yeah, she's in, she's in. 976 01:17:00,850 --> 01:17:02,270 Right, well, send her in and get out. 977 01:17:03,210 --> 01:17:04,990 I wish you wouldn't do that, Keith. 978 01:17:19,510 --> 01:17:21,110 Chicken. Keith, are you a trader? 979 01:17:21,790 --> 01:17:23,310 Absolutely, me arm pulls for things. 980 01:17:23,590 --> 01:17:25,630 You're done, blue -eye. 981 01:17:27,070 --> 01:17:28,470 Well, do it my way. 982 01:17:29,310 --> 01:17:30,310 Keith! 983 01:17:30,630 --> 01:17:32,590 Well, I'd like to, well, uh, John. 984 01:17:33,490 --> 01:17:37,270 But I'm taking Michelle Baskin, the future Mrs. 985 01:17:37,530 --> 01:17:41,770 Keith Fury, to a disco. 986 01:17:50,280 --> 01:17:51,960 Damn. Don't! 987 01:17:53,420 --> 01:17:54,420 Kate. 988 01:17:57,580 --> 01:17:58,580 Help! 989 01:17:59,800 --> 01:18:01,540 I wish you wouldn't do that, sir. 990 01:18:01,800 --> 01:18:02,800 Help! 991 01:18:07,580 --> 01:18:10,180 I'm not feeling myself tonight. 992 01:18:10,540 --> 01:18:12,800 Baby, feeling myself tonight. 993 01:18:13,020 --> 01:18:17,240 I'm not feeling myself tonight. When you turn around. 994 01:18:19,120 --> 01:18:20,120 I'm loving this.